Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
It's Late, it's late, it's late. . . .
but not too late. (Queen)
We have been working working working away like crazy trying desperatley to get ready for Christmas travels and gift giving. However we have still had some time for a little fun. Two weekends ago we went to Zoolights with Eric's sister and her family. If you live in AZ you need to go, it really is super cool especially if you like Christmas lights!
Then this past weekend, we headed up to the town of Carefree for their Christmas festival. To be honest, it was not great or good even, but they did have snow and a sledding track for the kiddos, so our friends The Gage's older daughters Reagan and Giovanna, had a blast and the grown-ups got to catch up, then we all headed over to Blu Burger for dinner. 4 adults, 2 babies, one toddler and one young child. . . . . I don't think the restaurant was super excited to see us, in fact the first restaurant we went to "claimed" to only have one high chair. . . . what??!!. . . . anyhow, we had a really good time at dinner and any restaurant should know that if you see a group where the children are equal to or outnumber the adults, you should jump for joy because it means a large alcohol tab:-) Ha!
Anyhow, other big news, Owen is doing AWESOME! We recently had a physical therapy visit and she was ecstatic to see that he is cruising and even independentley standing for a few seconds. Her only advice is to keep doing what we are doing. . . . and then she did give us some strategic positioning tips for cruising to encourage turning and stepping and having to let go with his hands. Feeding is going MUCH better than it has been, although it took a while to get him to accept any chunks in his food, we are now eating chunky foods 3 times a day and also eating 2 chunky snacks! He loves his cottage cheese and I even can tolerate it enough when mixed with a lot of fruit! Also, the "melt away" fruit and veggie puffs (which don't really melt away if you ask me), well he has always had trouble with them, but now he chows down on them, I am so proud of him pinching them up and putting them back to his molars for chewing. . . . those are Mary the OT's words not mine, but I am proud of him:-) She is very excited about where he is at both with his eating and with his fine motor skills. She says that developmentally Owen is only 1-2 months behind in most "skills" categories which is huge obviously since he was born so early. He is so determined, and I swear growing taller everyday! And, biggest of all, he is NOW using his walker to walk!!!!!! And he gets it!
We have been working working working away like crazy trying desperatley to get ready for Christmas travels and gift giving. However we have still had some time for a little fun. Two weekends ago we went to Zoolights with Eric's sister and her family. If you live in AZ you need to go, it really is super cool especially if you like Christmas lights!
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| Peacock my FAVORITE bird |
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| Rockin the Moby Wrap |
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| This is how I want to light our outdoor trees next year. White LEDs on the trunk and regular white light snowflakes in the branches. Good luck hubby! |
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| My favorite tree, beautiful pink LEDs |
Anyhow, other big news, Owen is doing AWESOME! We recently had a physical therapy visit and she was ecstatic to see that he is cruising and even independentley standing for a few seconds. Her only advice is to keep doing what we are doing. . . . and then she did give us some strategic positioning tips for cruising to encourage turning and stepping and having to let go with his hands. Feeding is going MUCH better than it has been, although it took a while to get him to accept any chunks in his food, we are now eating chunky foods 3 times a day and also eating 2 chunky snacks! He loves his cottage cheese and I even can tolerate it enough when mixed with a lot of fruit! Also, the "melt away" fruit and veggie puffs (which don't really melt away if you ask me), well he has always had trouble with them, but now he chows down on them, I am so proud of him pinching them up and putting them back to his molars for chewing. . . . those are Mary the OT's words not mine, but I am proud of him:-) She is very excited about where he is at both with his eating and with his fine motor skills. She says that developmentally Owen is only 1-2 months behind in most "skills" categories which is huge obviously since he was born so early. He is so determined, and I swear growing taller everyday! And, biggest of all, he is NOW using his walker to walk!!!!!! And he gets it!
In other news, we are getting closer and closer to finally moving into our new house! We cannot wait and in between baking, knitting, sewing, painting, and blog surfing:-) I have also been trying to pack a box here and there. This weekend I am going to try and finish off the guest closet, linens, and kitchen stuff that we can do without. Tonight I tried a sugar cookie recipe from The Hungry Housewife and they are delicious. Tomorrow afternoon during naptime I am going to make a second attempt at royal frosting. (1st attempt being Owen's birthday party) I have decided that my original problem was that the frosting was too runny, hence it never fully dried, hence the cookies got stale sitting out FOREVER!! and then the colors bled. So I have found an actual picture of what the frosting should look like (MUCH MUCH stiffer than what I made) and asked for help at one of my FAVORITE stores The ABC Cake Decorating and Baking Supply and I am now ready to go! I will upload some pictures when complete. Here are some of the other cookies so far
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| Spritz cookies mmmmmmmm, my favorite! Not too sweet, buttery crumbly, yum! Super cute platter $12 HomeGoods Temecula! |
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| Royal Cinnamon Shortbread, my favorite also |
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| Special K bars, again my favorite! Super cute footed platter $10 at HomeGoods Temecula . . . . . . thank you Christine |
Alright, I could lie and tell you I'm off to bed, but really I'm off to finish a very cute hat for a very special someone:-)
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Wednesday Night Mass
Lovely service tonight plus lots of treats afterwards. I love that our new church has tons and tons and tons of babies and kids that all stay in church during mass. I love it, I love it, I love it.
There is something very special about going to church in the evening, I don't know what it is, but I love it. Maybe because it always reminds me of midnight service on Christmas eve growing up.
I have been a busy bee working away on several projects and I can't show pictures yet because they are all Christmas presents. But after Christmas I will show and tell.
Spritz cookies . . .done. Next chocolate dipped shortbread cookies. . . .
There is something very special about going to church in the evening, I don't know what it is, but I love it. Maybe because it always reminds me of midnight service on Christmas eve growing up.
I have been a busy bee working away on several projects and I can't show pictures yet because they are all Christmas presents. But after Christmas I will show and tell.
Spritz cookies . . .done. Next chocolate dipped shortbread cookies. . . .
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thanksgiving and Santa's house
This year we went out to Temecula to spend Thanksgiving with Eric's family. We had a really good time. Owen got to play with his cousins Boy Teacher Carter, and lil miss Emma! He and Emma are so close developmentally it is so much fun to watch them together. Christine hosted the dinner and seriously I can't keep saying what an awesome job she did!
The next day we went to see Santa arrive on a horse drawn carraige and the babies got their picture taken with him. I made Emma and Owen matching elf hats that actually turned out how I envisioned! The city does a really nice job with carolers, the carriage, an awesome balloon artist, even an ice skating rink with fake snow!
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| Christine with her spread! |
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| The best shot I got, Carter was a great "teacher" showing the babies how to pose because he is the oldest cousin! |
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| These two together, the discs were originally linked together but of course they both wanted it so I seperated it and you would have thought it was coated in sugar, and they both kept looking at the others but were unwilling to drop the one they had! |
The next day we went to see Santa arrive on a horse drawn carraige and the babies got their picture taken with him. I made Emma and Owen matching elf hats that actually turned out how I envisioned! The city does a really nice job with carolers, the carriage, an awesome balloon artist, even an ice skating rink with fake snow!
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| Emma smiled in nearly all of the photos, but Owen was not as sure about the Santa, it reminded me of Will Ferrel and Artie Lange in Elf |
NICU Reunion
On November 13th St. Joe's hospital held a reunion picnic for all the NICU graduates. It was really awesome to go there and see faces we hadn't seen since we left. We got to put Owen into the arms of one of my favorite doctors (she was actually the one who took care of Liam on his last night) and it felt so good.
The picnic was put together soooo well, pony rides, bouncy houses, great food, face painting, raffles . . . it was a great day. I hope they keep having these!
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| Proud parents |
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| Liam's day primary Kim, Owen's day primary Andrea, and NNP (neonatal nurse practitioner) Rusty |
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| Channel 3 news |
Where have I been!
Each day that is going by I am feeling more guilty about not posting in so long. And then I start to get overwhelmed at everything I have to catch up on!!!! Does that happen to you?
We've been to a Christmas themed birthday party, a beautiful baptism, we had the NICU reunion picnic which was awesome, we've been up to Flag for another football game and out to California and back for Thanksgiving. . . .whew!
I KINDA feel like we may be getting back to normal, just in time for December to take us for a wild ride!
Oh yeah and Owen popped his first tooth! Right on Thanksgiving in fact! Poor baby has NOT been sleeping well and I can see the second tooth so it will be a few days at least before I can count on continuous sleep. . . but I don't mind. Last night in fact I almost started crying because he's big now. He doesn't fall asleep as well in my arms and I feel as if my days of holding him as much as I want and rocking him while he is sleeping are numbered, and I haven't gotten enough yet, so I go to him when he cries because some day he won't need me in that capacity anymore and I don't want to wish I had done it more. The funny thing is that when he cries on the monitor and I don't start for his room right away both of my dogs start down the hall and then look at me like aren't you going to do something? And I thought if all 3 of our instincts are saying go to him . . . we can't all be suckers:-) Ooh, I love him.
We've been to a Christmas themed birthday party, a beautiful baptism, we had the NICU reunion picnic which was awesome, we've been up to Flag for another football game and out to California and back for Thanksgiving. . . .whew!
I KINDA feel like we may be getting back to normal, just in time for December to take us for a wild ride!
Oh yeah and Owen popped his first tooth! Right on Thanksgiving in fact! Poor baby has NOT been sleeping well and I can see the second tooth so it will be a few days at least before I can count on continuous sleep. . . but I don't mind. Last night in fact I almost started crying because he's big now. He doesn't fall asleep as well in my arms and I feel as if my days of holding him as much as I want and rocking him while he is sleeping are numbered, and I haven't gotten enough yet, so I go to him when he cries because some day he won't need me in that capacity anymore and I don't want to wish I had done it more. The funny thing is that when he cries on the monitor and I don't start for his room right away both of my dogs start down the hall and then look at me like aren't you going to do something? And I thought if all 3 of our instincts are saying go to him . . . we can't all be suckers:-) Ooh, I love him.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Big Steps
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| Getting ready for tent city someday (J/K) |
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| How cool are these babylegs? |
Happy Halloween!!!!!
Our friends The Gage's invited us up to their neighborhood in north Scottsdale for Owen's first trick-or-treat fun. For us it was the first evening where you knew fall was actually here. . . . I'm not saying it was cold, but there was a little chill in the air.
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| I love that Owen and Giovanna are holding hands and Ava is trying to run out of the picture. We are missing a cheerleader too! (Herding Cats I tell ya) |
Anyway, we had so much fun and Ava and Owen rode in their strollers around the neighborhood while the rest of the children went for candy. The neighborhood is so beautiful, for me it was like a home tour. Owen and Eric even got a little candy "for the baby". . . . . . By the way, you can really score in that neighborhood, I have NEVER seen people so generous with candy and TONS of full size bars! Lucky kids:-)
It Started with a Cupcake
We had Owen's birthday party 3 weeks ago. It was fabulous. About 6 months ago I began to wonder how we would celebrate. I perused the internet looking for just the perfect theme, when I ran across an owl party on a blog and it turned out I already had the cupcake decorating book to make owl cupcakes. . . . well it grew from there. . . I literally had no idea how much stuff there was out there for children's parties. I had the most fun researching desserts and decorations for this party. I know Owen won't remember mini pies, or strawberry cake pops, but he will be able to look back at the 1000 pictures taken by his Grandma and see all of the family and friends who took time out of their lives and in some cases traveled great distances to wish him a very happy birthday!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Happy Birthday Little Man
Man, where does the time go! I remember when I first saw your double pink line:-) And now you are 1 year old.
Dear Owen,
Happy Birthday. A long time ago, I prayed for a little baby. When you were 6 weeks and 6 days old, I found out I had 2 little beans furiously growing inside of me. I saw the flicker of your heartbeat. I was scared and excited. When you were 16 weeks old I found out you were a boy. I have to admit, I was SURE you were a girl, but its funny because all of a sudden I loved powder blue:-) Every night, before I fell asleep I would pray that God would help me have a safe full term pregnancy. Every morning before I pulled out of my garage, I prayed again for a healthy pregnancy, and a safe trip to work, and for God to protect all of my family and keep them here with me.
You were Baby Boy A, first in line to get out, and man did you want out! I started to feel you around 18 weeks flipping and turning, like what a fish looks like out of water . . . . that is what it felt like to me. On Sept 17th when you were just 20 weeks old, I found out how bad you wanted out! I remember so clearly being told that I was in labor and that you were on your way out. . . I held it together until they wheeled me into my room on the high risk wing of Labor and Delivery. I remember being told that you probably had an infection and that if that was true which it probably was, they couldn't stop my labor, because then both of us would be in jeapordy, and that I needed to be prepared that you were probably going to die. While the doctor was telling me this you were kicking angrily as if to remind me of the lives I so precariously held . . . . just barely . . . inside of me. I thought, who is this evil person telling me to just give up . . . what kind of mother could just say "well I did my best, but oh well" . . . but I know she was just doing her job and telling me the harsh reality of the situation. As I absorbed this information, I thought how strange that my tears were falling up into my hair because I was in a postition I would come to know very well (inverted with my head down and my feet up, a modified headstand if you will:-). We were told our options and I remember the doctor saying that there were worse things than death . . . . . she's wrong. I looked up to the ceiling and I asked God what to do. Was I intervening by having the cerclage, was I supposed to just give up? For me that was never an option, the second I saw that pink line, I was your mother . . . . nobody loves you more than me, and I was the only one who could protect you then. So I said to God, "I promise to do whatever I can using modern medicine and prayer, I know in my heart I am making the right decision and I will accept whatever it is that you have in store for our family." And off to the O.R. we went. . . . . well after a very embarrassing surgery we held on, the three of us, for 4 and a half more weeks. I kept looking at pictures of head circumfrences at 21 weeks versus 24 weeks and just willing all of us to hold on at least until you were "viable" enough for the doctors to even consider saving. "The edge of viability" . . . we just made it.
The first time I saw you I was shocked. You were so impossibly small. You were so skinny, your chin was pointy and you had no lips just a line for your mouth. I could see through your skin and see all of your vascular structure underneath. Your ears were huge and very low on your head. . . . you hadn't finished developing yet. For the longest time I thought you had no nipples. . . . but it was just to early to see them:-) You didn't even have little bum cheeks, just a little brown dot! I could hardly see you underneath all of the tubes and wires. Your night nurse Katie was so nice. She made me feel like everything was going to be alright. She encouraged me to touch you, I couldn't believe they would let me stick my germy hands inside your "womb". I can't even describe how light you were. Your skin was tacky because of the humidity in your incubator helping you adjust to room air. My belly still looked pregnant and I kept expecting to feel you kick . . . it took a few days to really realize that you were out and the pregnancy was over. I couldn't see your eyes because you had a little "sleep" mask on to protect your eyes from the "bili" lights helping you flush out the excess bilirubin that your tiny liver couldn't process. Your odds were not good, about 50% chance survival rate according to statistics. Being as fragile as you were, the next 7 and then 30 days would tell us a lot about how you fared during your delivery and after. Would you be able to come off the ventilator and your lungs be able to breathe on their own, would you get a hemmorage in your brain, would you get an infection, would you recover from your infection that you were born with, would your heart fix itself, would your intestines perforate, would your eyes be able to take all the life saving oxygen and still see me one day? All these crazy questions that you shouldn't have to worry about during your third trimester, or first three months of life.
Over the first 3 months of your life I got to know the inner workings of the NICU very well. I know forever the last four digits of your medical record were 4577 (Liam was 4578). I know the "A's and B's" of prematurity. I remember all of your little milestones. I was always so proud of you. When you hit 1000 grams, 2 lbs, then 3, then 4, 5, 6 . . . . I remember when after 7 and a half weeks you took your first real breaths (not including that crazy time when they extubated you on like day 2 or something:-)) I will never again take for granted the involuntary muscles and brain connections associated with breathing. Every breathe is amazing. I remember how croaky your voice was, but it was the first time I had heard it, you had the hiccups and it sounded like a bullfrog. The first time I held you over a month after you were born. How when you were able to wear clothes finally, the preemie size hung off you like an XXL t-shirt. You gave me a million scares, none which compare to the night after your heart surgery when I was touching your head and I could feel your breathe in your head and it was like creaky . . . . I don't know how else to describe it. I called your nurse Nilsa over and right away she felt it too . . . and then you just went down. It was my first experience with the "code" team. I was so scared. . . I was scared speechless. I just sat there next to Liam deleting emails so that I wouldn't freak out and get kicked out of the pod. It wasn't going well, but you had the best team fighting with you. . . . at one point while they were giving you chest compressions and breathing and beating your heart for you, you reached your little hand straight up and your whole arm was blue. Then they asked us to step out, your lungs had collapsed and they were going to try to open them back up with nitrogen (or something . . hee hee, I guess some of it fades), your Daddy and I sat in the waiting room clutching each other not talking until a nurse came and got us and she said they got you back and you were pink and breathing (with a new high frequency ventilator designed to give you tons of teeny tiny little breathes instead of normal size ones), we went back there and you were wide awake and ANGRY and red! I had never been so happy, I was crying tears of relief. They told me I could touch you, but I wasn't about to put my snotty germ infested hands on you. I was just so glad that you were alive. . . . It was always like that . . . . up and down, up and down. You would be good, and Liam would be bad, and then the opposite. It was so hard to ever be happy or excited because usually one of you was not doing well. Thanks to you and your brother I have a head full of white and grey hairs (at least you didn't give me any worry lines!).
Everyone says life is a miracle, but how many people really really get to see how miraculous it truly is. Once you create life, from the moment of conception that life is FIGHTING to grow and thrive, it wants to SURVIVE, its whole being is focused on maturing for survival. I'm not articulate enough to get my thoughts on paper, but life, once created, even in the most fragile state is extremely difficult to extinguish because you are not dealing with a cut flower, you are dealing with an explosion of light, and power, and a soul that is entitled the chance to fight (That is the one reason as soon as we were offered the cerclage we took it, because I could never make the choice to end lives that were trying so hard to grow and live). For that matter, the field of neonatology is truly God's work. To take care and fight along side the tiniest, most fragile, sometimes sickest new lives and NEVER give up, regardless of the circumstance I always saw resolve, critical thinking, and BELIEF that all those babies were going to MAKE it. Nobody ever looked at us and said "you might not take them home" and I NEVER got the feeling that anything but success was expected.
The day we brought you home was such a happy day. I was scared, and because of the oxygen I kind of felt like you were a little bomb waiting to explode at the first spark:-) You were so little, but you looked so big to us. We got you home, and had no idea what to do, so we just watched you sleep and then held you and fed you little bits at a time. It was the BEST ever. And you started to thrive. You gained weight and height in leaps and bounds.
From the day we brought you home until today has felt like the blink of an eye. I can't believe how much you've grown. I can't believe all the things you can do. I can't believe all of what is behind us, and all that lies ahead. Every night before I go to bed I say thank you to God for giving me you. I cannot IMAGINE not having you here, you have changed me completely, and I am so glad. Things did not happen like I thought they would and I will always miss Liam and wonder what it would have been like to have both of you here with me, but in reality I shouldn't have gotten either of you but I did, and Liam is here with all of us, I see him every day in your sleeping face.
Owen, the word miracle does not even begin to describe you. You are amazing, you are freakishly strong, you are fickle with your food, and generous with your smiles. You sleep like an Angel, you snore like a man, and you laugh at the silliest things. Your determination leaves me speechless, and your fearlessness scares the crap out of me. I love you so much it brings me to my knees, I love you so much I am scared that I'll lose you. I am going to try my hardest not to smother you with my love, and to let you live, and make mistakes, and learn the "hard way" when appropriate. I will let you play football (just not QB, or wide receiver or any position that doesn't see the hit coming from some beast that outweighs them 3 to 1) once you get to highschool.
My baby, that saying "The World is Your Oyster" is true, anything you want you can achieve, you can be anything you want to be, I will be your biggest cheerleader. I cherish the way you are today, and cannot wait to see who you become, who you will love, what will be important to you, what your hobbies will be.
Happy Birthday little man, I love you now and always.
Love,
Dear Owen,
Happy Birthday. A long time ago, I prayed for a little baby. When you were 6 weeks and 6 days old, I found out I had 2 little beans furiously growing inside of me. I saw the flicker of your heartbeat. I was scared and excited. When you were 16 weeks old I found out you were a boy. I have to admit, I was SURE you were a girl, but its funny because all of a sudden I loved powder blue:-) Every night, before I fell asleep I would pray that God would help me have a safe full term pregnancy. Every morning before I pulled out of my garage, I prayed again for a healthy pregnancy, and a safe trip to work, and for God to protect all of my family and keep them here with me.
You were Baby Boy A, first in line to get out, and man did you want out! I started to feel you around 18 weeks flipping and turning, like what a fish looks like out of water . . . . that is what it felt like to me. On Sept 17th when you were just 20 weeks old, I found out how bad you wanted out! I remember so clearly being told that I was in labor and that you were on your way out. . . I held it together until they wheeled me into my room on the high risk wing of Labor and Delivery. I remember being told that you probably had an infection and that if that was true which it probably was, they couldn't stop my labor, because then both of us would be in jeapordy, and that I needed to be prepared that you were probably going to die. While the doctor was telling me this you were kicking angrily as if to remind me of the lives I so precariously held . . . . just barely . . . inside of me. I thought, who is this evil person telling me to just give up . . . what kind of mother could just say "well I did my best, but oh well" . . . but I know she was just doing her job and telling me the harsh reality of the situation. As I absorbed this information, I thought how strange that my tears were falling up into my hair because I was in a postition I would come to know very well (inverted with my head down and my feet up, a modified headstand if you will:-). We were told our options and I remember the doctor saying that there were worse things than death . . . . . she's wrong. I looked up to the ceiling and I asked God what to do. Was I intervening by having the cerclage, was I supposed to just give up? For me that was never an option, the second I saw that pink line, I was your mother . . . . nobody loves you more than me, and I was the only one who could protect you then. So I said to God, "I promise to do whatever I can using modern medicine and prayer, I know in my heart I am making the right decision and I will accept whatever it is that you have in store for our family." And off to the O.R. we went. . . . . well after a very embarrassing surgery we held on, the three of us, for 4 and a half more weeks. I kept looking at pictures of head circumfrences at 21 weeks versus 24 weeks and just willing all of us to hold on at least until you were "viable" enough for the doctors to even consider saving. "The edge of viability" . . . we just made it.
The first time I saw you I was shocked. You were so impossibly small. You were so skinny, your chin was pointy and you had no lips just a line for your mouth. I could see through your skin and see all of your vascular structure underneath. Your ears were huge and very low on your head. . . . you hadn't finished developing yet. For the longest time I thought you had no nipples. . . . but it was just to early to see them:-) You didn't even have little bum cheeks, just a little brown dot! I could hardly see you underneath all of the tubes and wires. Your night nurse Katie was so nice. She made me feel like everything was going to be alright. She encouraged me to touch you, I couldn't believe they would let me stick my germy hands inside your "womb". I can't even describe how light you were. Your skin was tacky because of the humidity in your incubator helping you adjust to room air. My belly still looked pregnant and I kept expecting to feel you kick . . . it took a few days to really realize that you were out and the pregnancy was over. I couldn't see your eyes because you had a little "sleep" mask on to protect your eyes from the "bili" lights helping you flush out the excess bilirubin that your tiny liver couldn't process. Your odds were not good, about 50% chance survival rate according to statistics. Being as fragile as you were, the next 7 and then 30 days would tell us a lot about how you fared during your delivery and after. Would you be able to come off the ventilator and your lungs be able to breathe on their own, would you get a hemmorage in your brain, would you get an infection, would you recover from your infection that you were born with, would your heart fix itself, would your intestines perforate, would your eyes be able to take all the life saving oxygen and still see me one day? All these crazy questions that you shouldn't have to worry about during your third trimester, or first three months of life.
Over the first 3 months of your life I got to know the inner workings of the NICU very well. I know forever the last four digits of your medical record were 4577 (Liam was 4578). I know the "A's and B's" of prematurity. I remember all of your little milestones. I was always so proud of you. When you hit 1000 grams, 2 lbs, then 3, then 4, 5, 6 . . . . I remember when after 7 and a half weeks you took your first real breaths (not including that crazy time when they extubated you on like day 2 or something:-)) I will never again take for granted the involuntary muscles and brain connections associated with breathing. Every breathe is amazing. I remember how croaky your voice was, but it was the first time I had heard it, you had the hiccups and it sounded like a bullfrog. The first time I held you over a month after you were born. How when you were able to wear clothes finally, the preemie size hung off you like an XXL t-shirt. You gave me a million scares, none which compare to the night after your heart surgery when I was touching your head and I could feel your breathe in your head and it was like creaky . . . . I don't know how else to describe it. I called your nurse Nilsa over and right away she felt it too . . . and then you just went down. It was my first experience with the "code" team. I was so scared. . . I was scared speechless. I just sat there next to Liam deleting emails so that I wouldn't freak out and get kicked out of the pod. It wasn't going well, but you had the best team fighting with you. . . . at one point while they were giving you chest compressions and breathing and beating your heart for you, you reached your little hand straight up and your whole arm was blue. Then they asked us to step out, your lungs had collapsed and they were going to try to open them back up with nitrogen (or something . . hee hee, I guess some of it fades), your Daddy and I sat in the waiting room clutching each other not talking until a nurse came and got us and she said they got you back and you were pink and breathing (with a new high frequency ventilator designed to give you tons of teeny tiny little breathes instead of normal size ones), we went back there and you were wide awake and ANGRY and red! I had never been so happy, I was crying tears of relief. They told me I could touch you, but I wasn't about to put my snotty germ infested hands on you. I was just so glad that you were alive. . . . It was always like that . . . . up and down, up and down. You would be good, and Liam would be bad, and then the opposite. It was so hard to ever be happy or excited because usually one of you was not doing well. Thanks to you and your brother I have a head full of white and grey hairs (at least you didn't give me any worry lines!).
Everyone says life is a miracle, but how many people really really get to see how miraculous it truly is. Once you create life, from the moment of conception that life is FIGHTING to grow and thrive, it wants to SURVIVE, its whole being is focused on maturing for survival. I'm not articulate enough to get my thoughts on paper, but life, once created, even in the most fragile state is extremely difficult to extinguish because you are not dealing with a cut flower, you are dealing with an explosion of light, and power, and a soul that is entitled the chance to fight (That is the one reason as soon as we were offered the cerclage we took it, because I could never make the choice to end lives that were trying so hard to grow and live). For that matter, the field of neonatology is truly God's work. To take care and fight along side the tiniest, most fragile, sometimes sickest new lives and NEVER give up, regardless of the circumstance I always saw resolve, critical thinking, and BELIEF that all those babies were going to MAKE it. Nobody ever looked at us and said "you might not take them home" and I NEVER got the feeling that anything but success was expected.
The day we brought you home was such a happy day. I was scared, and because of the oxygen I kind of felt like you were a little bomb waiting to explode at the first spark:-) You were so little, but you looked so big to us. We got you home, and had no idea what to do, so we just watched you sleep and then held you and fed you little bits at a time. It was the BEST ever. And you started to thrive. You gained weight and height in leaps and bounds.
From the day we brought you home until today has felt like the blink of an eye. I can't believe how much you've grown. I can't believe all the things you can do. I can't believe all of what is behind us, and all that lies ahead. Every night before I go to bed I say thank you to God for giving me you. I cannot IMAGINE not having you here, you have changed me completely, and I am so glad. Things did not happen like I thought they would and I will always miss Liam and wonder what it would have been like to have both of you here with me, but in reality I shouldn't have gotten either of you but I did, and Liam is here with all of us, I see him every day in your sleeping face.
Owen, the word miracle does not even begin to describe you. You are amazing, you are freakishly strong, you are fickle with your food, and generous with your smiles. You sleep like an Angel, you snore like a man, and you laugh at the silliest things. Your determination leaves me speechless, and your fearlessness scares the crap out of me. I love you so much it brings me to my knees, I love you so much I am scared that I'll lose you. I am going to try my hardest not to smother you with my love, and to let you live, and make mistakes, and learn the "hard way" when appropriate. I will let you play football (just not QB, or wide receiver or any position that doesn't see the hit coming from some beast that outweighs them 3 to 1) once you get to highschool.
My baby, that saying "The World is Your Oyster" is true, anything you want you can achieve, you can be anything you want to be, I will be your biggest cheerleader. I cherish the way you are today, and cannot wait to see who you become, who you will love, what will be important to you, what your hobbies will be.
Happy Birthday little man, I love you now and always.
Love,
Mom
No more Specialists
Today we had Owen's 1 year follow up echocardiogram to see if there was any evidence of pulmonary hypertension. I had been dreading this appointment because people are supposed to (have to) hold still for this and it is a VERY LONG time! When he was 4 months old it was hard, well skip to today. . . . . let me tell you he was ALL OVER the place, they had to swaddle his arms at his sides and put the blanketunder his bck to expose his chest. And then our very nice technician worked as fast as possible while I held him down with one hand and held his vibrating star teether in his mouth with the other hand and he watched some crazy Baby Einstien video. And that worked okay for about 10 minutes and then he started crying and SCREAMING for the remainder of the EKG which felt like FOREVER. I have honestly never seen him so angry.
But when our cardiologist came in he was so excited. . . I have never seen him that "giddy". He said that his EKG was "Stellar" and that he was extremely pleased at how good it looked. Essentially Owen was discharged as completely normal with no follow up to do as long as he never exhibits any difficulties with breathing that might indicate that he is having trouble oxygenating his blood supply. It was such a wonderful thing to hear and see Owen's doc so happy. He kept asking me over and over if I was sure about the date of my pregnancy because it was just so hard to believe that Owen was a "24 weeker", and he thought Owen should be the poster child for NICU graduates. He even gave us their cardio calendar as an example of one we should do for the NICU. It was such great news.
What a wonderful Birthday present to Owen's parents!
But when our cardiologist came in he was so excited. . . I have never seen him that "giddy". He said that his EKG was "Stellar" and that he was extremely pleased at how good it looked. Essentially Owen was discharged as completely normal with no follow up to do as long as he never exhibits any difficulties with breathing that might indicate that he is having trouble oxygenating his blood supply. It was such a wonderful thing to hear and see Owen's doc so happy. He kept asking me over and over if I was sure about the date of my pregnancy because it was just so hard to believe that Owen was a "24 weeker", and he thought Owen should be the poster child for NICU graduates. He even gave us their cardio calendar as an example of one we should do for the NICU. It was such great news.
What a wonderful Birthday present to Owen's parents!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Time
Is it just me, or do all moms want to freeze time. I feel like it is running through my fingers like water. Owen is growing and changing so fast. I keep wishing I could stop time right now, right at this instant and keep everything the same forever. I love how snuggly he is when he is tired, and how when he starts crawling towards something forbidden he can't help but give himself away by squealing and blowing rasberries in excitement of reaching his destination. I love that he can still fall asleep in my arms and cries for me occasionally as I leave the room . . . I always go back and pick him up, you can call this spoiling but I don't really care, someday he won't want to be held and rocked and smothered in kisses so I am going to do it as much as possible right now. I love how he looks for me when he is playing on the floor and I am in the kitchen and when our eyes meet he breaks out into a huge smile. Will he always look at me with such love? I don't know . . . . . I love how between 5 and 7pm every night he just wants to be held and walked around the house. He loves looking at photographs and everytime he acts like it is the first time and it is the most exciting picture. I love how he squirms in the bath and doesn't want to sit up, and his rubber ducky is attached to his mouth. . . .There isn't anything that I don't love.
It Must Be in the Genes
Yesterday and this morning Owen has started to do the most curious thing. When he is eating a bottle and very sleepy, he has started to take his left hand and rub the back of his head and almost twirl his hair. . . . . something Eric does when he is really sleepy too:-)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Arcadia Farms
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| Me, Bri, Owen & Kellan |
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| Taking my family there. . . out of Scones, boo! |
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| Taking Eric's parents there |
What the peanut is up to . . .
I checked and it has been a little while since I updated on what the family is up to.
Most importantly, Owen is army crawling and sitting independently. He is getting super fast at the crawling thing and he looks really close to coming up on all fours. Every time I try to help with his physical therapy moves he squiggles right out, he has no patience to try and get his legs up underneath him when he is so fast at his army crawl. When I watch him from behind he looks like a crocodile or a lizard:-) It is super cute and super exciting.
Eric and I have been trying to "baby proof" the house and also have started teaching Owen what not to touch. He now knows that door stops, dog toys, dog tails, dog bowls, doors, and his diaper champ are off limits. But to him that just means try to get there faster so that he can enjoy his forbidden fruit before it is taken away:-) The dogs are no help because they bring their gross stuffed animals very close to Owen's blanket as soon as you get down on the floor with him:-)
I also try to read at least 3 books a day to him which is difficult because he wants to turn the pages as fast as possible and rip them out. So he has two cardboard books that we read OVER and OVER and OVER:-) "Happy Baby Animals" is his all time favorite and we received that one for free from Dr. Lersch!
Owen is also very proficient at telling me when he is pissed off! For instance when I will not let him rip my favorite books to shreds, or play and eat plants. . . .and he is also super duper snuggly. When he is done playing he trys to get to you to snuggle up so you will pick him up. I just love it.
His eating is also going very well still. We are up to 3 solid meals a day consistently with about 24-26 ounces of formula. We are still only eating very pureed foods as of now, waiting for him to catch up a little more developmentally before introducing more texture. Our OT says that once he develops his 2 finger pincer grip that will go hand in hand with starting finger foods. . . . . once again the human body and its development continue to astonish me with its complexity and harmony.
Most importantly, Owen is army crawling and sitting independently. He is getting super fast at the crawling thing and he looks really close to coming up on all fours. Every time I try to help with his physical therapy moves he squiggles right out, he has no patience to try and get his legs up underneath him when he is so fast at his army crawl. When I watch him from behind he looks like a crocodile or a lizard:-) It is super cute and super exciting.
Eric and I have been trying to "baby proof" the house and also have started teaching Owen what not to touch. He now knows that door stops, dog toys, dog tails, dog bowls, doors, and his diaper champ are off limits. But to him that just means try to get there faster so that he can enjoy his forbidden fruit before it is taken away:-) The dogs are no help because they bring their gross stuffed animals very close to Owen's blanket as soon as you get down on the floor with him:-)
I also try to read at least 3 books a day to him which is difficult because he wants to turn the pages as fast as possible and rip them out. So he has two cardboard books that we read OVER and OVER and OVER:-) "Happy Baby Animals" is his all time favorite and we received that one for free from Dr. Lersch!
Owen is also very proficient at telling me when he is pissed off! For instance when I will not let him rip my favorite books to shreds, or play and eat plants. . . .and he is also super duper snuggly. When he is done playing he trys to get to you to snuggle up so you will pick him up. I just love it.
His eating is also going very well still. We are up to 3 solid meals a day consistently with about 24-26 ounces of formula. We are still only eating very pureed foods as of now, waiting for him to catch up a little more developmentally before introducing more texture. Our OT says that once he develops his 2 finger pincer grip that will go hand in hand with starting finger foods. . . . . once again the human body and its development continue to astonish me with its complexity and harmony.
Over Labor Day Eric's parents came out to visit and it was nice to get to be able to see them. Owen especially enjoyed learning to play catch with Grandma! Shortly after that, my parents drove out to visit for a week. It was great to see Owen get to interact with his extended family. With my Mom out, I purchased my very own sewing machine and enlisted my sister as slave labor to start the preparations for Owen's 1st birthday which is coming up just around the corner. Stay tuned for pictures after the party. And check out the photo website in the September folder for the 300+ pictures my Mom took while she was out here. . . . VERY nice camera by the way:-)
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| Pleas notice Linus in the background:-) |
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| Caught trying to fold laundry! |
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| Forbidden fruit, and a very kind dog. |
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| Reading his favorite book. |
Friday, September 17, 2010
Happy Birthday Eric
Today my husband turns 31! How sweet it is to get to share my life with my very BFF! I remember when we first met, I remember when we had our first date, our first kiss, the first time I said I love you, our first REAL fight. . . . I'll save those stories for another day, today I celebrate the life of a very special man.
I remember with absolute clarity how we spent his 30th birthday. We went in for a routine ultrasound, and had our world flipped upside down. Just a year before Eric had taken me to Vegas for my 30th and we had such a fabulous time with our friends living it up like rockstars if only for the weekend. I was so sad that Eric had to have his milestone while rocked with such tragic news, and some very hard decisions. And that day, and everyday since then he maintains that he received the best present of his life, the chance to save his sons.
Eric, I thought about how I could tell you, really tell you how much you mean to me and the truth is, I don't know. The magnitude of my love, and the thankfulness that I feel for being a part of your life and for all the big and especially all of the little things you continually do I don't think could ever fully be expressed. All I can say is I love you, and thank you.
A Few of the Big and Little things that make you, you:-)
1. (Big)You work hard, really hard. Hard enough that I don't have to, and I can stay at home with our son.
This is probably your best and most generous gift to me.
2. (Little) You make a MEAN blueberry pancake, even without one of those crazy new electric griddles, you know the kind you can make a thousand pancakes at once and the temperature is always the same. . . . we should get one:-)
3. (Big) You are the patient half to my instant gratification half. You are the reasonable side to my irrational side. The planner to my spontenaity. And we balance each other.
4. (Little) You can have entire conversations with movie quotes. Some lines are just always super funny, and I love how we can crack each other up, and annoy each other all at the same time. "awwwww, what's in the box, what's in the box?"
5. (Little) Your laugh. Especially when you find something really funny that takes you by suprise. It is rare to get that high pitched laugh and it is my favorite. I try all the time to illicit that sound.
6. (Big) Balancing the family budget. This is a nearly impossible task because of my above mentioned instant gratification problem, and the fact that you really can't say no to me. I have looked at this color coded, extremely complex excel spreadsheet and it makes my eyes glaze over. If it were up to me we would live in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere.
7. (Big) All the things you did for me when I was on bedrest. Helping me up the step ladder into bed and then surrounding me with pillows so I wouldn't move on my own. Shaving my legs so I wouldn't have to go into labor looking crazy. Cooking, cleaning, worrying, working, foot rubs, back rubs, taking my braids out . . . . this list could go on forever. . . sleeping on a 5 foot cot at the foot of my hospital stretcher in a room that had to be kept at 50 degrees because the anti contraction drugs made me burn from the inside out.
8. (Big) Your faith. It seems that most people, once they reach the age that Sunday school is over feel like they have completed their education. You have continued to grow more faithful and express a great interest in learning even more about your faith. I never want to stop learning, and I am grateful to get to share that with you. When Owen and I were housebound you went to mass every Sunday for the whole house. . . . . even if you hadn't shaved the whole weekend:-)
9. (Little) You are a guy's guy. I love that you have real guy friends, and that you rough house and tease, and drink beer, and eat garbage, and watch football, and play fantasy football. (This doesn't mean I think FF is cool by the way, it is still LAME)
10. (Big) All of our memories together. I am so glad to have had our college experience together and to have so many friends in common. Remember our Ensanada cruise, the bus ride through Italy, my nephew puking on himself, greenbeans for dinner everynight and then throwing my spoon over the balcony in protest? Remember the cross party, and the bonfire party, club 302 and basketball parties? Remember Ty and Old English, me and Steel Reserve, Collin's, Malohney's, The Museum Club, Porky's, Granny's Closet? Remember Nick singing at Preston's wedding, the urinal at Chris's wedding, the shopping cart at our wedding, the cigars at Nick's wedding, you and Kevin dancing at Mark and Tara's wedding? Remember throwing my crutch down the hill, fighting on St. Patrick's Day, running in the desert? Remember driving to Mexico, or Tucson, or Phoenix. Remember our first apartment, our Hillcrest apartment, going to Vegas with Bobby and the walkie talkies? Remember any Salt River trip, but especially our first, and hopefully not so much of our last?
11. (Little) The little post-it notes you leave me every morning.
12. (Little) The way you always kiss me goodbye and goodnight. Sometimes when I am being bratty I try to withhold this from you, but you never let me, and I love that.
13. (Little) Your taste in music. . . . maybe because it is nearly the same as mine . . . . except for O.A.R. I just don't get it! I'm sorry Nate., maybe if I saw the saxaphone player in person, ha.
14. (Little) You can always get a burp out of Owen when I can't.
15. (Big) You always let me hold the boys if only one got to be held, because you said you wouldn't even get to hold them if I had stayed pregnant so I should get to hold them the most since I missed out on my third trimester. You always went to see them on your lunch break when I had to work.
16. (Little) You let me decorate with pink. Whenever we go to some of our friends houses and it is super masculine I always feel so grateful that you really don't care about the decor. I want pink sheets and towels. . . . fine by you. Thank you:-) It's a 1 to you, but a 10 to me.
I'm trying, but it is still so hard to articulate how special I think you are. I love you now and always. Happy Birthday.
I remember with absolute clarity how we spent his 30th birthday. We went in for a routine ultrasound, and had our world flipped upside down. Just a year before Eric had taken me to Vegas for my 30th and we had such a fabulous time with our friends living it up like rockstars if only for the weekend. I was so sad that Eric had to have his milestone while rocked with such tragic news, and some very hard decisions. And that day, and everyday since then he maintains that he received the best present of his life, the chance to save his sons.
Eric, I thought about how I could tell you, really tell you how much you mean to me and the truth is, I don't know. The magnitude of my love, and the thankfulness that I feel for being a part of your life and for all the big and especially all of the little things you continually do I don't think could ever fully be expressed. All I can say is I love you, and thank you.
A Few of the Big and Little things that make you, you:-)
1. (Big)You work hard, really hard. Hard enough that I don't have to, and I can stay at home with our son.
This is probably your best and most generous gift to me.
2. (Little) You make a MEAN blueberry pancake, even without one of those crazy new electric griddles, you know the kind you can make a thousand pancakes at once and the temperature is always the same. . . . we should get one:-)
3. (Big) You are the patient half to my instant gratification half. You are the reasonable side to my irrational side. The planner to my spontenaity. And we balance each other.
4. (Little) You can have entire conversations with movie quotes. Some lines are just always super funny, and I love how we can crack each other up, and annoy each other all at the same time. "awwwww, what's in the box, what's in the box?"
5. (Little) Your laugh. Especially when you find something really funny that takes you by suprise. It is rare to get that high pitched laugh and it is my favorite. I try all the time to illicit that sound.
6. (Big) Balancing the family budget. This is a nearly impossible task because of my above mentioned instant gratification problem, and the fact that you really can't say no to me. I have looked at this color coded, extremely complex excel spreadsheet and it makes my eyes glaze over. If it were up to me we would live in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere.
7. (Big) All the things you did for me when I was on bedrest. Helping me up the step ladder into bed and then surrounding me with pillows so I wouldn't move on my own. Shaving my legs so I wouldn't have to go into labor looking crazy. Cooking, cleaning, worrying, working, foot rubs, back rubs, taking my braids out . . . . this list could go on forever. . . sleeping on a 5 foot cot at the foot of my hospital stretcher in a room that had to be kept at 50 degrees because the anti contraction drugs made me burn from the inside out.
8. (Big) Your faith. It seems that most people, once they reach the age that Sunday school is over feel like they have completed their education. You have continued to grow more faithful and express a great interest in learning even more about your faith. I never want to stop learning, and I am grateful to get to share that with you. When Owen and I were housebound you went to mass every Sunday for the whole house. . . . . even if you hadn't shaved the whole weekend:-)
9. (Little) You are a guy's guy. I love that you have real guy friends, and that you rough house and tease, and drink beer, and eat garbage, and watch football, and play fantasy football. (This doesn't mean I think FF is cool by the way, it is still LAME)
10. (Big) All of our memories together. I am so glad to have had our college experience together and to have so many friends in common. Remember our Ensanada cruise, the bus ride through Italy, my nephew puking on himself, greenbeans for dinner everynight and then throwing my spoon over the balcony in protest? Remember the cross party, and the bonfire party, club 302 and basketball parties? Remember Ty and Old English, me and Steel Reserve, Collin's, Malohney's, The Museum Club, Porky's, Granny's Closet? Remember Nick singing at Preston's wedding, the urinal at Chris's wedding, the shopping cart at our wedding, the cigars at Nick's wedding, you and Kevin dancing at Mark and Tara's wedding? Remember throwing my crutch down the hill, fighting on St. Patrick's Day, running in the desert? Remember driving to Mexico, or Tucson, or Phoenix. Remember our first apartment, our Hillcrest apartment, going to Vegas with Bobby and the walkie talkies? Remember any Salt River trip, but especially our first, and hopefully not so much of our last?
11. (Little) The little post-it notes you leave me every morning.
12. (Little) The way you always kiss me goodbye and goodnight. Sometimes when I am being bratty I try to withhold this from you, but you never let me, and I love that.
13. (Little) Your taste in music. . . . maybe because it is nearly the same as mine . . . . except for O.A.R. I just don't get it! I'm sorry Nate., maybe if I saw the saxaphone player in person, ha.
14. (Little) You can always get a burp out of Owen when I can't.
15. (Big) You always let me hold the boys if only one got to be held, because you said you wouldn't even get to hold them if I had stayed pregnant so I should get to hold them the most since I missed out on my third trimester. You always went to see them on your lunch break when I had to work.
16. (Little) You let me decorate with pink. Whenever we go to some of our friends houses and it is super masculine I always feel so grateful that you really don't care about the decor. I want pink sheets and towels. . . . fine by you. Thank you:-) It's a 1 to you, but a 10 to me.
I'm trying, but it is still so hard to articulate how special I think you are. I love you now and always. Happy Birthday.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friends
This past weekend at a baby shower for a good friend of mine, I was able to see a lot of girlfriends that I hadn't seen since or before Liam passed, and it reminded me of the meaning of friendship. I have not always been the friend I've wanted to be because I'm hot headed, I'm outspoken, I think I'm right nearly all of the time, I hate the phone, and I am admittedly a bit of a recluse (hee hee), but sitting there with the girls, trading birth stories, and reminiscing about bachelorette parties, I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life, and it doesn't stop with just the girls in that room. I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever want! So here's to you, girls. From California to Wisconsin and EVERYwhere in between, I love you, I'm thankful for you and I cherish you.
Here's to friends. The ones who are there for you no matter what. Who understand if you do something rotten, and forgive you even if they don't understand. Here's to friends who you can disagree with and fight with, but in the end make up because what would you do without each other anyway. Here's to the ones that turned out to be better friends than you even knew until you needed them most. To the friend that will drive 40 miles to Cracker Barrel because you're on your period and NEED to eat some hash brown casserole, but don't want to go alone:-) Here's to the friends who will tell you if you don't look good to save you from yourself, and the ones who will say you look amazing if you need a confidence boost. The ones who will stick up for you when you can't do it yourself. The ones you can count on NOT to break the rules in Vegas. Here's to the ones you just met, the ones you are just getting to know better, and the ones you've known FOREVER. The ones that don't compete with you, and that you don't compare yourself to, and the ones that make you want to be better, aim higher, and love more. The ones that inspire you and challenge you. Even the one who you swear every time you call her she is in a fast food drive through, but she looks amazing and what the F is her secret!!
Here's to work friends, college friends, high school friends, horseback riding friends, track friends, cross country friends, aesthetician friends, plastic surgery friends, wives of my husband's friends friends, and sister friends. The ones who take care of you when you've had too much to drink and keep the toilet seat from hitting you in the head and make you go home with them, and the ones whom you push in a wheelchair through the basement of a casino. The ones who treat you to a ridiculously lavish massage because they think you deserve it. Here's to the friends who call your now husband before you were even dating and leave a dozen messages about how stupid he is if he doesn't call you . . . . all without your knowledge or consent, it was out of love right?
And here's to the kindred spirits, the one whom you met and instantly loved and knew that you were cut from the same cloth, and that no matter what you would be best friends forever because your souls had already been best friends before you were born. You could tell them anything, and they are thinking the same thing, its crazy good! The one that you can really keep a secret for, and that you can trust with your own secret.
We've laughed together, we've cried together. We've fought, conspired, loved, baked, cooked, learned, worked and lived together. We've traded recipes, clothes, make-up, books, and tips. We've carpooled, lunched, thrown dinner parties, studied, road tripped, vacationed, and camped together.
Most of all we've just been together. No one ever said they had too many great friends. I value each and every one of you. If we're not that close yet, I hope we get closer, and if we are close, I hope we always stay that way. If we've drifted apart I hope we close the gap. Never stop reaching out, never stop giving second chances and you won't ever regret anything.
"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make" The Beatles
Here's to friends. The ones who are there for you no matter what. Who understand if you do something rotten, and forgive you even if they don't understand. Here's to friends who you can disagree with and fight with, but in the end make up because what would you do without each other anyway. Here's to the ones that turned out to be better friends than you even knew until you needed them most. To the friend that will drive 40 miles to Cracker Barrel because you're on your period and NEED to eat some hash brown casserole, but don't want to go alone:-) Here's to the friends who will tell you if you don't look good to save you from yourself, and the ones who will say you look amazing if you need a confidence boost. The ones who will stick up for you when you can't do it yourself. The ones you can count on NOT to break the rules in Vegas. Here's to the ones you just met, the ones you are just getting to know better, and the ones you've known FOREVER. The ones that don't compete with you, and that you don't compare yourself to, and the ones that make you want to be better, aim higher, and love more. The ones that inspire you and challenge you. Even the one who you swear every time you call her she is in a fast food drive through, but she looks amazing and what the F is her secret!!
Here's to work friends, college friends, high school friends, horseback riding friends, track friends, cross country friends, aesthetician friends, plastic surgery friends, wives of my husband's friends friends, and sister friends. The ones who take care of you when you've had too much to drink and keep the toilet seat from hitting you in the head and make you go home with them, and the ones whom you push in a wheelchair through the basement of a casino. The ones who treat you to a ridiculously lavish massage because they think you deserve it. Here's to the friends who call your now husband before you were even dating and leave a dozen messages about how stupid he is if he doesn't call you . . . . all without your knowledge or consent, it was out of love right?
And here's to the kindred spirits, the one whom you met and instantly loved and knew that you were cut from the same cloth, and that no matter what you would be best friends forever because your souls had already been best friends before you were born. You could tell them anything, and they are thinking the same thing, its crazy good! The one that you can really keep a secret for, and that you can trust with your own secret.
We've laughed together, we've cried together. We've fought, conspired, loved, baked, cooked, learned, worked and lived together. We've traded recipes, clothes, make-up, books, and tips. We've carpooled, lunched, thrown dinner parties, studied, road tripped, vacationed, and camped together.
Most of all we've just been together. No one ever said they had too many great friends. I value each and every one of you. If we're not that close yet, I hope we get closer, and if we are close, I hope we always stay that way. If we've drifted apart I hope we close the gap. Never stop reaching out, never stop giving second chances and you won't ever regret anything.
"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make" The Beatles
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| Camping |
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| I wish I had an "after" picture |
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| Thug Life |
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| Vegas Baby |
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| Before Babies:-) |
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| Just before bedrest |
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| The Girls |
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| Before Babies |
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| More Girls |
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| Posing, NOT smoking |
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| Shower Planning Superstars |
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